Saturday, July 28, 2012

Ryan's one year birthday!!!

Hi there, Today is Ryan's one year birthday!! We just wanted to send everyone an update and celebrate this day with all of you who shared on her journey. Today we went to her gravesite and we brought balloons, flowers and some funfetti cookies to celebrate. We placed a candle in one of the cookies and sang her happy birthday. We even took the dogs with us so the whole family was together. :) It was a hard day in some ways because we miss her so much, but it was also a day of celebration that she was born this special day. She was a miracle the day she got here and touched our lives and so many others lives. Ryan truly shifted our lives and our perspective. Through her life we drew closer to God and to one another as well as grew in our dependence and intimacy with God. He loved us so well through her precious life. She awakened our hearts in a new way and expanded our capacity to love and trust God. Since her passing I (Michelle) have quite my job to in a sense reboot my life and make sure I am where God wants me and take time to heal and spend time with Jared. I am also giving writing a go. I am working on writing about this journey with Ryan. Jared is working hard as a fire fighter still and loves it. We are also signed up to go on a mission trip with our church to Mexico in October to work at an orphanage for deaf and blind children. We also are working with a program called the buddy program where we buddy up with a special needs kiddos during church services so their parents can go to church. God has really redirected our lives and we feel so blessed to have gotten the experience we have. To have such a special little girl caused us to pause our lives and redirect them in a way that is both joyous and honors God. She awakened us to live life to the fullest and love deeply everyday. She is to be celebrated and rejoiced! She was and is a miracle and deeply loved forever! Happy Birthday Little!! Love Mom and Dad


  1. OH Michelle & Jared, I am SO glad you posted this! I have been praying for you guys all year and more intensely this past month as I know for myself I began to relive many of those NICU moments as I hit the 1 yr anniversaries, including meeting you all. I am so glad to hear that you have been able to have some time to process all you went through, it was A LOT, I too have been working through much of the joys and traumas experienced in the past year. It was all worth our baby girl but it was a lot to endure none the less! I remain encouraged by you and your gem, Ryan. I still think about her and you all often. There is a song that ALWAYS makes me think of you, I want to say it is called "Let Her Know What Love Is" and it says, I'm gonna love her while I can so every moment she's here she knows what love is. You are such a testimony of that and I praise God for all He has accomplished in you and through you. You have impacted probably far more than you know quite deeply, including me. I feel blessed to have known you.
    Our crown jewel, Eliana is doing wonderful but it has been a long hard year. The Pertussis didn't resolve until January and then on top of that she has not slept well until just the past couple weeks, so I have gone over a year with some pretty major sleep deprivation. But I think we are finally coming to breakthrough. I also didn't realize how much trauma I experienced through our NICU time until I began to have a change to process a lot of those emotions, still in progress. It really hit me as we approached the anniversaries: a year ago I was... flown to phx, in labor, held her, she got sick, etc. I know our experiences were different but they were hard and the Lord carried us through none the less. Anyway, I don't want to go on and on, but I did want you to know how much love & prayers we have been sending your way. And though our time together was brief the impact was strong. May the Lord bless you in ALL you do!I pray your writing endeavor continues to reach more people with your story! Much love in Christ, Jody Balian

  2. Love this post! Glad to see you celebrating Ryan's life, her life brought so much joy to others, and I'm happy to see it still does! Hope you are well!!!